Becoming A Mom-Again
*Trigger Warning-Loss of "fetus"* On a Wednesday morning, laying in a hospital bed. That was where my journey of becoming a mother began. She was 6 lbs and 15 oz of chubby cheeks and black fussy hair with big blue eyes. I remember lying in the bed and not wanting to look away from her tiny messy face. I remember feeling terrified that I was now a mother. I was now the new sole caregiver of a tiny, helpless human, who would now rely on me for food, shelter, love, hygiene, literally everything. Even with the fear of failure in the back of my mind I had never felt so complete. I remember riding in the back seat of the car to make sure she was happy and knew I was there. I would watch her sleep for weeks, not because I was afraid but because I was so utterly in love with that tiny child. She grew too fast, so fast in fact that at the age of 1.5 she was wearing size 5T clothing and weighed close to 45 lbs. There were literal years of exhaustion with her. She d...